Two Theories about Hatred

关于仇恨的两种理论

There are two theories perceiving hatred, one illustrates the condition of expressing objective hate to change others’ bad behaviors and another asserts that hatred has a subjective and unavoidable nature.

有两种关于仇恨的理论，一种阐述了表达客观仇恨以改变他人不良行为的状况，另一种则认为仇恨具有主观且不可避免的性质。

The first opinion is that humans possess some unlikeable characteristics which objectively incur hatred. Donald Winnicott, an influential pediatrician and psychoanalyst, terms “objective counter-transference” applying in psychological and psychotic therapy, which means analysts should express their natural feeling of love and hate to patients based on “objective observation” of the patient’s behaviors. In the preface of his article, this theory is said to be widely accepted now (Winnicott, 1994).

第一种观点是，人类具有一些不讨人喜欢的特征，这在客观上会引起仇恨。唐纳德·温尼科特是一位有影响力的儿科医生和精神分析学家，他在心理和精神病治疗中使用“客观反移情”，这意味着分析人员应该在对患者行为的“客观观察”的基础上，向患者表达他们对患者自然的爱恨。在他的文章的序言中，据说这个理论现在被广泛接受（温尼科特，1994）。

It can be inferred that hate can only be objective if it meets two criteria: First, a clinician does not hate a patient himself. If the clinician hates the patient, he would hate the things the patient does, which is not “objective observation”. In this case, his hatred is toward the person but not his behaviors. Second, every rational person deems that the patient’s deed is hateful. If one thinks it is hateful, but another does not, the hate is not objective. The first criterion is achievable, but, in reality, when a therapist seeing a mentally ill patient doing many abnormal things, it is hard to have no negative feeling towards the patient. The second criterion is also not always applicable. For example, if a patient shouts at the therapist, everyone would deem it hateful. But if a patient does not obey the therapist’s instructions, some would hate this, and some would not. Therefore, sometimes it is arbitrary to tell a patient that his behavior is hateful. In addition, the analyst may not observe throughout and be ignorant of factors contributing to the patient’s bad behaviors which could reduce his hatred. Due to these reasons, though Winnicott’s suggestion for analysts to genuinely convey their emotions to patients may lead to better communication and cooperation, it should be cautiously used to avoid bias, irrationality, and hurt.

可以推断，仇恨只有在满足两个标准的情况下才能是客观的：首先，临床医生自己并不恨病人。如果临床医生讨厌病人，他就会讨厌病人所做的事情，这不是“客观的观察”。在这种情况下，他憎恨的是那个人，而不是他的行为。第二，每一个理性的人都认为病人的行为是可恨的。如果一个人认为它是可仇恨的，而另一个人则不认为，那么仇恨就不是客观的。第一个标准是可以实现的，但在现实中，当一个医生看到一个精神病病人做许多不正常的事情时，很难对病人没有负面的感觉。第二个标准也并不总是适用的。例如，如果一个病人对着医生大喊大叫，每个人都会认为它可恨。但如果病人不服从医生的指示，有些人会讨厌这个，而有些人则不会。因此，有时告诉病人他的行为可恨是武断的。此外，医生可能不会全程观察，也不知道导致患者不良行为的因素，这可以减少他的仇恨。由于这些原因，尽管温尼科特建议医生真实地向患者传达他们的情绪可能会导致更好的沟通和合作，但它应该谨慎地使用，以避免偏见、非理性和伤害。

Winnicott’s theory renders patients accountable for analysts’ emotions, which may be problematic. Winnicott does not tell clinicians to adjust their attitudes but expects patients to change their behaviors to be lovable. For example, he had a patient who was disgusted for years but, due to therapy, became lovable one day. The patient’s disfavor was considered to be a “symptom” and his transformation to be lovable is “a tremendous advance in his adjustment to reality” (Winnicott, 1994). In this theory, a patient is judged by whether being liked by the analyst. Though others’ reactions are an important reference, but it is oversimplified that not being like means one does wrong. This may let patients care for physicians’ feelings too much and give physicians too much authority.

温尼科特的理论让病人对医生的情绪负责，这可能会有问题。温尼科特并没有告诉临床医生调整他们的态度，而是希望患者改变他们的行为变得可爱。例如，他对一个病人多年来一直感到厌恶，但由于治疗，有一天变得可爱起来。病人的不讨人喜欢被认为是一种“症状”，他变成可爱的人是“他适应现实的一个巨大进步”（温尼科特，1994）。在这个理论中，一个病人是由是否被医生喜欢来判断的。虽然其他人的反应是一个重要的参考，但它过于简化了，不被人喜欢意味着自己做错了。这可能会让病人过多地关心医生的感受，并给医生太多的权威。

Winnicott implies that it is not a duty to love someone, while it’s an individual’s responsibility to behave well in order to be lovable, and who is hated should be blamed for his bad behaviors. If a patient does not accept hate, it is because she cannot recognize that hate is generated by the very things she does (Winnicott, 1994). In this case, analysts do not initiatively love patients and patients need to seek for her love, which would make patients feel anxious and unsafe.

温尼科特暗示，爱某人不是责任，而表现良好而被喜爱是个人的责任，被憎恨的人应该因为他的不良行为而受到指责。如果一个病人不接受仇恨，那是因为她无法意识到仇恨是由她所做的事情所产生的（温尼科特，1994）。在这种情况下，医生并不一开始就爱病人，病人需要寻求她的爱，这会让病人感到焦虑和不安全。

Winnicott argues that if a clinician does not express her hate, a patient won’t trust her love to be authentic (Winnicott, 1994). However, we can evaluate the genuineness of an emotion by simply observing it. Study finds that when culturally diverse people were shown basic facial expressions, they did fairly well at recognizing them (Matsumoto & Ekman, 1989). Winnicott doesn’t believe that a clinician can only love a patient without hate, because the patient is mentally abnormal. However, another famous p